Struggling for what I can be.

     As an ABcomm student, I have to choose whether I want to pursue my writing career or to try my opportunity on advertising. This is a dillema I am currently facing. It's been my problem for the past few months and I have a hard time deciding which. Most of all my friends are going to take journalism as their elective and somewhat, I, too, wanted it.

Ever since high school, I've never dream of taking up communications as a course in college. Actually, I wanted to be a lawyer and make my family proud. And then one day, while I was sitting on a bench in the registrar's office, I saw this flyer. 

"OFFERING NEW COURSES:

MULTIMEDIA ARTS
BACHELOR OF ARTS IN COMMUNICATION"

And then out of nowhere, exactly when I was going to write "Legal Management" on my application, I erased it and then wrote "Bachelor of Arts in Communication". I don't believe in destiny or fate or whatever romantic words that will describe perfectly on why did I chose this program. Maybe because I knew I can do better in communicating with other people or maybe because I wanted to try if I can manage to be a broadcaster someday. And here I am realizing things that may or may not change my future. 

On journalism:

I want to write. I want to make a book, a novel to be specific. I want to be exactly like Dan Brown, or Stephen King or James Patterson and those famous young adult fiction writers like Cassandra Claire, John Green, David Levithian, Suzanna Collins, Veronica Roth and many more. I want to be a broadcast journalist like Karen Davila, Mel Tiangco, and Ted Failon. I want to be a feature writer in a popular magazine. 

But there are things which made me realized that maybe I have no future in journalism. My reasons are:

1. I don't even know if I have an opportunity in writing. 
2. Money is my priority. After graduating in college, I would be the breadwinner of my family. I need a lot of money to support my little brother and sister's education and even my family's expenses. And I've heard that on journalism, you have to be a passionate writer but I am not
3. I am not good in English unlike my friends Gianne, Pauline and Fae. I have a lot of grammatical errors which is not usual for a writer. 
4. In a way, writing bores me. I can't write if someone told me to write something, I have to read a lot of stories and articles before I write something.
5. 1/4 part of me wanted journalism because my friends would be there and I want to be with them so they can help in times I needed one.

And there are a lot of thoughts that arrived in my mind in this exact moment, am I fit enough to take up journalism?

On Advertising:

Welcome to  the world of advertising, the lifeblood of any newspaper. It had been my dream to become an advertising executive of the famous and well known "SUMMIT MEDIA" where the Candy Magazine, FHM, Pop Fiction books are created. Actually I have a confession to make, I really don't know what I am going to do if  I became a part of an advertising group. I know it would be very difficult and exhausting but everything will pay off after all the hard works. In the world of advertising, money is the priority. 

But somehow, there is a part of me doubting that I can do "advertising." It takes a whole lot of level before you finish an advertising as an elective. There is going late at home, there are lots of tiring works, COMRES, preferably, you have to be a superstudent. Advertising as an elective will make you crazy according to my seniors, and I, as a lazy and superbly tardy student, I can't do every paper works that needed to be done in a couple of days. I always hated paperworks because I'm not good at it. I always fail to make a good paper to submit whenever we needed to make one as a project. The least I can do is to revised everything again and again. 

But somehow, advertising might give me a preferable future. I mean, in an advertising company, there are lots of money invested, a lot of chances, and a lot of opportunities. I have a family to feed, expenses to pay, a house to build, and a future to create where everyone would want to be with me. I wanted money so badly that if someone ask me to do dangerous things like jumping outside the airplane using an umbrella and they will pay for it with a million bucks, for my family, I would do it with gratitude. I can survive I know that,but there would be just a lot of my bones damage. I'm simply implying that I needed money and those money can be found if I chose advertising. 

I know that I need to make my final decision, there is only a month left before I choose what I wanted to do. I keep silently praying that whatever or whichever I chose would help me deal with all my problems. 

I wanted to thank ms. Pauline Navarro for writing a good article and somehow inspired me to write something.  I'm still confuse and there would be times that I would say I want "journ" and there would be those times where I want "advert" as an elective. But currently, I'm trying to figure out if I can really make a good headline for my news in my assignment on Wriprin.